“Why did you post that?” is a question I no longer want to ask myself. The question I would rather be asking is “Why am I posting this?”
Tensions have been high in the social media world these past couple of weeks. If you are on social media, I am sure you know why. I don’t wish to get into any specifics. I found myself so annoyed at the hate being spewed from all sides, that I removed myself from all platforms for a few days.
I found that social media was doing me more harm than good. I found myself angry at people and annoyed at many things. I began to “mute” friends and family on Instagram and “Unfollow” on Facebook.
As we all know, everyone has an opinion, and they are entitled to it, but what I was seeing was people outraged when you didn’t agree with them. I don’t like to make comments on high profile events happening at the time, because we generally do not have enough evidence and are running our mouths based on our emotions. Something I have learned the past couple of weeks is that facts don’t care about your feelings. It probably sounds a little cold and callous, but it’s true. In America, it seems we are fighting a war on racism that statistically doesn’t exist the way the media is portraying it, but of course, as I have learned over the years, people don’t do research.
The funny thing is that after this is all over, and all the facts come to light, no one will admit that they were wrong and quick to speak. So to go back to my first paragraph, I decided to ask myself a few questions before sharing anything on social media. I refuse to have arguments on any social media platform, so what I post is thought out ahead of time. However, there will always be someone available to pick a fight, and I just don’t answer anymore.
I wanted to share these questions with you so that you, too, can make deliberate decisions on what you will be sharing on social media. The one thing that should be shared at all times is the gospel; this is the only exception.
Here goes, before you click “post”, “share”, or “tweet” ask yourself the following.
Why am I posting this?
Will this glorify God? Will this be of benefit to anyone? Is it teaching a lesson? Is this informative? Do I want to be provocative? Will this dim the light of the gospel? Is it offensive?
Who is this intended for?
Who is your audience? Will they learn from this or be offended? Is it kind? It is lovely?
Is it controversial?
Sometimes you might want to share something controversial but be ready to defend your standpoint and also know that you will most likely not change anyone’s mind on the internet. I think controversial topics are best discussed in person.
Is this factual or am I being emotional?
Many times we share things because we feel some type of way. I’m sure, at this point in our lives, we have learned how fickle our emotions can be. It would not profit anyone to post something based on emotion because once the feelings pass, we might regret it. This would probably cause more harm than good.
Will this help grow me as a person?
To be honest, the answer to this one is generally “no,” in my opinion. Nothing I have ever posted on social media has grown me as a person. At the very least, I can say I learned to stand my ground when it comes to my stance on abortion after one post, but that is all. This doesn’t mean we don’t post it, but rather, think about what it is and how it may affect the way you present yourself to the digital world before sharing it.
You aren’t obligated to run through a whole checklist before posting something, just keep some of these questions in mind before you share. You might discover, as I have over the past couple of days, maybe you don’t need to be on social media as much as you think you do.
I hope this post has helped you to be more thoughtful of the things you share because they do have some consequences. Just remember, do all things for the glory of Christ.
If there is something I consider to be a complete waste of time, energy and breath, it’s complaining, huffing and puffing at a fast-food chain because they are understaffed and not getting your order out as fast as you expected. I see this all the time. Obviously, these workers are running around trying to do at least two jobs at once and your huffing and puffing is of no use, it will not make then work faster than they are at the moment.
Don’t grow up to be that cranky old person, set in their ways who only care about themselves and what they want. Maybe it’s because I live in New York, and New Yorkers seem to be the rudest, most self-centered people on the planet (I exaggerate here) but you get the point. New Yorkers are known to be rude, they always want things their way and when they don’t get it, they huff and puff like the big bad wolf. Don’t be like typical New Yorkers, be considerate.
I was recently at a KFC waiting in line for my food, I brought up the understaffed scenario because that is exactly what was going on here. I was stuck in line in front of a man, who from the very beginning came in with a bossy and demanding attitude. He wanted to know if they had chicken tenders and he wanted his answer fast. To his surprise, he came into an understaffed KFC that had employees running everywhere and no one was getting to him as fast as he wanted, which led him to mutter under his breath complaints about how he just wanted a yes or no answer to a simple question. After getting his answer (yes, they have chicken tenders FYI) he stood in line behind me. All the while I waited patiently for my food, this man shifted back and forth and often complained that they only had 3 workers and the line was getting longer, obviously anyone with eyes can see that. He proceeded to complain about the service and even tried to engage in conversation with me as if I was going to agree with him.
There are a few things I have learned during my few adult years, here are a few of them.
Complaining Usually Does Not Result In Much
I mean seriously, has constantly complaining helped any? I know there is a saying, the squeaky wheel gets the oil, however, I don’t think that applies to complaints, they fall into a constantly inquiring category. You constantly ask for the status of something and eventually, the person being questioned resolves what you want, but complaining… That’s different. As much as I dislike my job at times (I have noticed I complain every chance I get and I shouldn’t) it doesn’t make the problem go away. Complaining about the pains of my job and difficulties I face on a daily basis, is not going to get my work magically done. It just doesn’t help resolve anything so why spend our precious time in it (I am really speaking to myself here, its something I struggle with, to be honest)
“Do all things without grumbling or disputing…”
Philippians 2:14 (ESV)
Be Nice To People, It Usually Has Good Results
Have you ever heard the saying “ you catch more bees with honey” well you do! Being nice to people has never resulted in a negative way for me. Sure, not everyone is nice, some people are just plain rude and nasty but that doesn’t mean you have to be also. I had a client who disliked me from the moment he met me, I have no idea why he was just always rude to me and constantly compared me to his prior paralegal. He always found a flaw in everything I did, to be honest, I hated when he called because I knew he was going to complain about something but I picked up the phone and kindly answered every question he had, I figured I’d kill him with kindness. Well, after a year of being kind to this man who was always rude, he started calling me nicknames, like “love” and “sweetheart” (in Spanish), I was taken aback the first time, but soon after getting used to it.
It was not something I would have expected from him, by the time his case settled and everything was done, he actually thanked me for all the help I provided him, this after he had a small fit, left my office only to come back half an hour later and apologize to me because “I have always been kind to him and I did not deserve for him to have acted that way”, he asked me for a hug before he left and walked out of my life forever. I think I will remember forever, my toughest client turns nice and acknowledges my kindness, see, being kind pays off. You also get people to help you out more if you are kind to them. I can’t tell you how many times I have been kind to someone who I haven’t even met in person, and they are also kind back. A little bit of kindness goes a long way.
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV)
Admit When You Are Wrong
This is something I need to do more often than I would like to admit, especially at work. How many times have I made mistakes at my job? I have no idea. I know I wrote a blog post on this topic before, you can find the link here. I have grown so much from admitting I made a mistake, preferably, I would rather not make them in the first place but at least there is always a lesson. From every mistake I have made, I have learned what not to do and how to correctly handle a situation.
“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”
1 John 1:8 (ESV)
Own Up To Your Mistakes
Also aligned with the point above, owning up to my mistakes has grown me so much. I have learned many lessons and God has humbled me every time I had to admit I messed up.
“Repent, therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out”
Learn From Your Mistakes and Keep It Moving
I have met many people who are stuck in a rut, why? Because they do not want to admit they made a mistake, it takes humility to do that and humility is not a trait that comes easy. It is the complete opposite of pride, the sin that is the root of many other sins.
“for the righteous falls seven times and rises again,”
Proverbs 24:16 (ESV)
Adulting is by no means easy, I think most of us who have entered adulthood can admit, we can relate to a young bird who is pushed off the ledge by his mother so he can learn to fly except, we hit the side of the cliff 40 times before we achieve takeoff.
I hope you enjoyed this post, feel free to comment on any of your adulting lessons below.
If I had to write a letter to the teenage me, it would go a little something like this.
I know you are at a critical time in your life right now and think what is happening right now is the most important stuff that will ever happen, the most crucial, and important. But what if I told you that’s not true. What if I told you (yes, this is a pun, and at your age you probably wouldn’t get it because memes are not a thing yet but you will grow to love memes and also watch the Matrix…) that what happens in your teenage years is not so pivotal? One day you will look back and laugh, you will scold yourself for the time wasted and the emotions spent on nonsense. So here would be my advice to you.
Stop worrying about what other people think about you. In a few years you will no longer see these people and their opinion will be the last thing on your mind. Let go off all the things that make you anxious, trust me you will thank me (yourself later). With all the time you spend being angry, you can be doing other things. Your current friends will not really be your friends in a few years, in fact, you will all go your separate ways and you will really only message one of them sporadically via social media. Oh and on social media, at this point in your life it is not a big deal but boy will it take over, so be careful and mindful of the time you spend on social media (facebook and instagram) you won’t really see these until the late 2000’s and early 2010’s.
Try a few different genre books and listen to more 90’s R&B, that is some good stuff. Spend more time reading and less time arguing. Try and look at the world from another person’s perspective, do not be swayed by what the world tells you. I know at this point God is not very big in your life but I would ask that you think about eternal things more. Think about where you will go and how your actions will affect you and others. Now, I don’t want you to think that being “good” will get you into heaven but it’s just nice to be considerate and mindful of your actions and their consequences.
Talk to your parents more, do not hold grudges, understand that your parents came from a different place than you did, they had a different upbringing and that may explain why they do and act the way they do.
I know this sounds like a lot but if you slowly implement these suggestions soon they become second nature and can help you grow to be a smarter young woman and be more compassionate and kind.
When it comes time to register to vote, do not register democrat, turns out in college you will get an in depth lesson on political parties and their beliefs and yours will not lined up with democratic values, you’ll save me some paper and time filling out a form to change my political party.
You are going to turn out ok, even if you don’t follow these suggestions just remember, what others think now will not matter later so might as well stop caring about it now.
Today we are faced with mass reportings on whether or not the United States will go to war with Iran and we are so concerned with the current state of things. I see memes about drafts and memes about gender equality shifting back to women in the kitchen, not seeking equality anymore to prevent being drafted. We click, like, we laugh it off, but at the end of the day, we worry.
We worry because there are troops out there putting their lives on the line for America. There are terrorist making threats against the US. This is real and it is happening. We keep asking will there be a war? Will we be safe?
People even question why the US president would even consider killing a terrorist (this part makes no sense to me as the US has been at war with terrorism since the 9/11 attacks and even prior to that ) tensions may have risen in some aspects and now we are confused and worried, but if there is one thing that helps me put all of this madness into perspective is that at the end of the day God is in control.
It may seem very simplistic to think this way, but it is true. The earth may be dying (as many people are claiming) the US may be going to war with Iran (as many depict will happen in the near future) babies are being murdered by the millions (as we can statistically see, and yet many won’t admit this is murder) but through it all God is in control.
He is sovereign over all. He created this world and He can destroy it if He sees fit, however, He promised He would not destroy it in a flood, so He won’t, but He can destroy the earth in any other way He deems proper.
I know that sounds morbid but it should be reassuring for those called according to His purpose. Why? Because no matter what happens here on earth, God has called us and will keep us. He will bring us home. I don’t mean to belittle what is happening in the world right now, I just want to encourage you to take heart. Whatever happens will happen because God, in His sovereign will allowed it to happen.
Anything that will come to pass is not outside God’s power and since we belong to Him, the worst thing we can face is death and then what? We will be with Him in eternity. What greater prize is there?
So if you are worried about the state of things, remember God is in control. He rules over all kings, presidents, leaders, etc. He is King of all. He is the Lord of all creation, and we are His children, we need not worry for God is with us.
If you are unsure of being one of His children, check out this sermon “The Gift of God” by my pastor Peter Nicotra.
As this year is ending, I have been striving to complete my reading challenge for this year. Every year I set a goal for myself of how many books I would like to read; this year’s goal was 16. As of today, I am 13 books in and have 3 to go. I am super excited, it has been a few years since I fully completed my goal.
The reason I am writing this post is because I want to share one of my current reads with you. This book is titled 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You by Tony Reinke. I had mentioned it in a previous post for which books I intended to read over the summer. I must admit, I only made it half-way through that list but that is better than nothing.
Anyway, this book caught my attention a few years back when it was released. I always see how we are all, and I am including myself, sucked into our phones whenever we get the chance. We walk, we sit, we wait, we linger about all while holding our phones in our hands and scrolling through an infinite feed of new posts. I agree with the author that phones are not evil in and of themselves, but rather the way that we use our phone is what could be a problem here.
I noticed in myself, that whenever I was waiting around or in an awkward situation, I immediately reach for my phone. I know I am not the only one. I see it all the time. Mr. Reinke goes on to explain some of the reasoning as to why we behave this way.
I will talk about a few of the points he makes in the book but not too many as I would rather you check it out for yourself. Here are a few ways he mentions our phone is changing us:
1. We Are Addicted To Distraction
Remember how I just mentioned reaching for my phone while waiting, yup, I can honestly say I prefer to be distracted from the waiting so much that I reach for my phone the moment I notice there is something I need to wait for. What this does is help me lose track of time until the thing I am waiting for happens, be it waiting for the train, or waiting in line to order some food.
Sometimes to stop myself from reaching for my phone I remember a scene from one of my favorite books The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. In this book the main character finds himself in a town where the inhabitants are seen rushing back and forth through an invisible building, the explanation for this being, they were so busy looking and down and walking fast that no one stopped to admire the building and so they disappeared.
Of course, this is fiction and many loopholes can be found, but I tell myself that I must stop and look at my surroundings before they disappear. Now, of course, they will not turn invisible but with all the construction going on, it could be a familiar location that can be quickly replaced because I even take a moment to look up and see what is going on because I will rather be distracted by my phone.
2. We Become Like What We Like
This I can also personally attest to. I love books and follow many bookstagrams. I just love to see piles of books, shelves of books, all neatly organized and picture-perfect, it is one of my little pleasures. But this can also take another turn, what if we begin to follow celebrities, we like their post, laugh at their jokes and next thing you know we find ourselves relating to them more than before.
I wrote a prior post briefly touching on this. The issue with this is we can become influenced by what we are seeing and liking that we will neglect our own views and where we stand.
As Christians, we are called to be transformed by the renewal of our minds. Are we doing this often? How does who we follow affect this? Mr. Reinke also went into a similar topic in this book.
3. We Neglect Our Flesh and Blood
I love the way Tony Reinke began this chapter, he does a good job of illustrating just how detached we can be from other humans when we have arguments on the internet. It’s like that other person is less than human because we do not see their actual flesh and blood through a screen.
Isn’t it almost crazy that a took we claim to use to draw closer to family members actually does the total opposite? We tend to have a conversation online but when it comes to being in person we are distant and awkward.
The fact that we put on a persona for our friends and then find ourselves unmasked in person we feel defenseless, it is so much easier to hide when we are not in the same room. Imagine how this can affect social interactions. We would much rather hold conversations online rather that meet up in person, this is definitely a way our phone if changing us.
Overall, I highly recommend this book, I will not give more details about it because I would really like you to read it on your own and come to your own conclusions. This book helped me see some of the unhealthy ways I was using my phone, it is a real eye-opener. We should keep in mind who our Savior is and how we can live our lives to honor Him. If our phone usage does not draw glory to Christ, we may need to reconsider how we use this technology He has given us.
I hope you enjoyed this brief review and really encourage you to check out this book, you can find a link in this post to purchase the book on Amazon. *I am an Amazon affiliate so I may get a small fee for any purchase you may make but this will be of no effect to the price you pay.* Thank you so much for checking out this post, see you next time.
I recently came across a photograph of a rather well-known celebrity. Although relatively new to fame, she has a tremendous influence on many young people. In this photo, she was endorsing a certain candidate for the upcoming 2020 U.S. Presidential Election.
My initial thought was, who would take this seriously? However, I soon came to the realization that, in all honesty, many would. Many would gladly, perhaps even blindly, support someone as significant as a presidential candidate simply because one of their favorite celebrities (sometimes “celebs”) suggested that they should.
Why is this? Well, for one, and a relatively recent factor in terms of our modern election cycles, is the reality and influence of social media. Prior to the advent of social media platforms, we did not have very direct and personal access to our favorite stars. We instead, relied on television, tabloids, and radio to find out what they were up to. But not anymore. Today, because of social media, we can see what our favorite celebrities had for dinner, where they got their hair done and what kind of exercise they do at the gym.
It seems almost as if they are our friends. We feel a sort of closeness to them, even to the point where we esteem their opinions as highly, if not higher, than our very own.
Now, I am not resolved to conclude that it is inherently wrong to follow celebs on social media. In fact, if I were to say that, I would be no more than a hypocrite, as I too follow a few of my favorite actors and singers on platforms such as Twitter and Instagram. Rather, what I would like to persuade you to do, is to engage in a close examination the following points, particularly with regard to politics, voting, and celebrities.
1. We Are Not The Same
Celebrities, although they may seem to share much in common with us, at the end of the day, are not like us. Why? For one, they are wealthier than us. That fact inevitably plays a role in all of this. In my case, the income differences between the celebs I follow and myself are on completely different levels, in fact, hardly the same spectrum. But why is this important? Well, when it comes down to celebs and who they may choose to help, rich people often tend to look out for themselves and their own interests. Sure, they may say that they are looking out for minorities and the disadvantaged, but do you really think a commercial artist, who brags about making my year’s salary in a week, genuinely cares about me? I would say no. Many celebs would stop at little to preserve, maintain and perpetuate their social status. In today’s especially polarized political climate, this often translates to endorsing politicians who suit their needs. These politicians are even regarded as a means to their ends and visa-versa. I’m not going to presume that all celebs engage in this or that their motives are completely devoid of sincerity. However, in cases where celebrities advocate for a specific politician, we should take care do our own research and thus intelligently determine whether or not our values and beliefs line up with theirs. We should do this before being wooed by the shout-outs and photo-ops or merely because of the fact that our favorite artist likes them. Some celebrities have impressive business sense and are very credible but we may never know whether or not they have a hidden agenda.
2. Celebrities Can Be Bought
Coming from a Dominican background, and understanding how corrupt a country’s politics can be, I am no less convinced that here in America we are equally as susceptible. And this will tie in with my last point concerning our ability to discern a celebrity’s motives, or any public figure for that matter. We need to seek out the truth and be wary of the possibility of being swayed in any given direction. Odds are, the person advocating for that cause is being paid to get you to conform to their ideology and hop on to their political bandwagon. Don’t give in to the hype based on what you see at first glance. Do yourself a favor and some conduct some research so as not to be deceived.
“Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors deceit in his heart; when he speaks graciously, believe him not, for there are seven abominations in his heart; though his hatred be covered with deception, his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.”
Proverbs 26:24-26 ESV
3. We Need To Follow Our Own Convictions and Follow Christ
This ties in with doing our research. When thinking about making a decision as momentous as who to vote for, we ought to ask ourselves whether or not this person, party or idea should receive my vote and, essentially, my allegiance in the first place. Do they agree with what I stand for? Will they have my interest(s) in mind? Will they make a positive impact in areas of great challenge? Are they honest? Do I think they will stand firm for what they are advocating, even amidst fierce opposition, or simply bend under pressure? Does their record and conduct support any of this? These are all things we need to keep in mind when considering our future leaders. It can be so easy to support a candidate plainly because many people we like and admire are speaking well of them. But at the end of the day, we need to find out if they will truly be a good candidate given our standards. Not only that, if we are Christians, saved by grace and set apart to live for Christ, promoting His righteousness here on earth, we will line up with anything that the scriptures inform us to stand for.
“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”
Micah 6:8 ESV
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
Philippians 4:8-9 ESV
For the Christian, let us always remember that God is Sovereign. Despite these days seeming more daunting than any before us, and the forces of evil prevailing day-in and day-out, God is sovereign. By the look of it, any Christian challenging the culture, speaking out against homosexuality and abortion is immediately marginalized as a bigot, a radical and ignorant individual. It may very well be that one day Christians in this land will be silenced by the law. As time progresses we may no longer be able to speak freely of our Lord and Savior, but take heart brethren, for He has overcome the world! This place is not our home and God is sovereign even in the darkest of times -just as history has clearly showcased time and time again. His justice will prevail over all the earth and if we find ourselves worried, let us cast our burdens on Him.
“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”
Psalms 55:22 ESV
“and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28 ESV
“The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will.”
As long as we are here, let us stand for Christ even if it means going against popular beliefs. Let us not fear sharing the gospel, it is good news. It may not be the most popular message out there today but it is certainly the most important and the most beautiful. Let us remember what we have been saved from and share this great news whenever we get a chance and never let yourself be governed by the fear of man or by the sensationalism of celebrities.
“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.”
And at the end of the day, may everything we do be done to the glory of God.
Today my blog is a full year old! Yes, it has been a year already. It’s almost hard to believe. Just a year ago I decided to start this journey. It was definitely not an overnight thing. I gave it a lot of thought before actually going for it.
I spoke to my husband a couple of times and spent months (I kid you not) months picking out a name. I kept trying to sort out what my purpose would be and honestly, I am still figuring that out.
I started this blog mainly to share what I have learned and am still learning with you guys so we can all grow together. I also wanted to glorify God in my writing. To Him be the glory always! I am so grateful for everything He has done for me and want to honor Him at all times.
I am so happy that you have stuck around with me and I will continue to post more content I think you’ll enjoy.
Here is a little fun fact, my blog was almost named Life by Ang. That was my husband’s initial suggestion. I liked it but I wanted it to be something more. I didn’t desire merely to ramble on about the day-to-day minutiae of my life in particular but, rather, to share my thoughts and worldview as they relate to a variety of different subjects. I also wanted I wanted to create a space where you can all kinda grow with me too. So I switched the words LifeBy to JourneyWith.
The word journey, brings a pilgrimage to mind. As a Christian that is exactly what our life is. This world is not our home, we are just passing by.
I hope I am able to make you guys feel welcome here at Journey With Ang. If there is anything you’d like to hear my opinion about, feel free to message me. Although I do not give my two cents on everything, (ie; I cannot speak on motherhood, as I am not a mother) but I will do my best to answer any questions I receive.
I want to thank you again for sticking around and I look forward to continuing this journey with you.
I work full time as a paralegal for a busy personal injury law firm and this job comes with a great deal of responsibility and a need to be cautious and attentive to deadlines. In addition to looking out for deadlines, I need to make sure all the papers that will be served are properly organized and that the language contained therein is correct. A great deal of revision goes into my work and sometimes even with the revisions I can miss something. Not always in the document itself but in following specific legal procedures.
So with this said, there have been times I have missed a deadline, or forgot to file something which can be a bit of a problem but I have learned that instead of shying away from the problems and trying to find an excuse as to why, what ever it was, was not done, I admit I messed up and own up to my mistakes. Trust me it is not very easy and I think it takes quite a bit of humility but it is always worth it.
Why? Well you learn. I have learned so much during the times I have spent with others correcting a problem, even when I was the reason it came to be.
I enjoy solving puzzles and love finding the solution to things. In the case where I need to solve one of these complicated legal procedural puzzles at work, that is not fun, at all! In fact, these are probably the most stressful days at work for me. I always picture my life on the line and myself at risk on being let go. It really builds up my anxiety.
But, God has been very gracious to me. He has surrounded me with people who seem to favor me, for one reason or another, and are always willing to help.
Admitting I was wrong and taking charge of the situation, although stressful, has really grown me as an professional and as an adult. I definitely feel more competent, (it might sound weird to say I feel competent after endeavoring in a stressful adventure that I got myself in by making a mistake) but in the end the learning process in the challenge makes it all worth while.
I have never regretted admitting my wrongs because they have helped me grown and learn.
So if you are prone to make mistakes, hopefully not as many mistakes as me, feel encouraged. It is ok to admit you are wrong and when you admit it, you will learn something new. For me it some sort of legal procedure but the fact that I can admit I was wrong and I made a mistake I think makes me a stronger and more knowledgeable person overall. It has been one of the most important things I learned while “adulting”.